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DVAM Voices Of Freedom

Silencing The Shame and Living in Agape: Your Journey Towards Healing

As we step into October, a month dedicated to raising awareness about domestic violence, I want to address a crucial and often overlooked issue that affects countless lives. Why? Because I firmly believe that it’s time for us to collectively confront the pervasive yet often silenced impact of domestic violence.

Personal journeys through domestic violence can often feel profoundly isolating. I know this from my own experience. It was a lonely path until I discovered a community of support. Sadly, many of my loved ones, including church family members, didn’t know how to extend their support. That’s why I’m on a mission to give voice to this topic, recognizing that many women are affected by shame.

If you’ve made it to this paragraph, this topic must interest you. Let’s go deeper. Shame is a distorted identity we place on ourselves when we experience the perception of having done something dishonorable, immoral, or improper. Sometimes, we feel worthless, helpless, powerless, nameless, and hopeless. Seeing ourselves as “less” than is often connected to childhood trauma.

But here’s the profound truth: When we let go of our shame, we can feel more at peace, be happier with who we are, and experience true healing. When we embrace every facet of who we are, we tap into the transformative power of self-love.

Healing is closer than you think. You deserve to live in AGAPE. Healing can start today with:

  • Acceptance and Affirmations: Begin your healing journey by accepting that healing takes time and acknowledging your worth. Affirm yourself with positive self-talk, recognizing that you deserve love and support. Focus on the words “I am”! There is power in affirming your greatness.
  • Guidance from Professionals: Seek advice from trained therapists or counselors who can offer professional support, strategies, and confidential space to help you gain new tools to place in your tool kit for healing. The Harris County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council can be a resource for you. This community helped me in my healing journey.
  • Advocacy for Yourself: Learn what your rights are. Trust me, when you go through the process of self-advocacy, you will, in turn, be a resource for someone else. Advocacy raises your overall level of self-awareness and consciousness.
  • Pursuing Knowledge: Expand your knowledge about domestic violence, its psychological effects, and the resources available for survivors. Learning more about domestic violence helped me understand what my shame was rooted in.
  • Establishing Healthy Boundaries: Recognize the importance of setting and enforcing healthy boundaries to protect your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. NO. is a complete sentence.

Remember, you are not alone, you can silence the shame. We are ready to support you on your path to living a life free from shame.

If you’d like to learn more information about the Silencing the Shame series, please email our Voices of Freedom Ambassador, Lereca Monik. You can also check our weekly newsletter for her series announcements or check her Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/lereca.monik

If you or someone you know is in danger, call the National Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.

About the Author

Leraca Monik is one of HCDVCC’s Voice of Freedom Ambassadors.

Categories
Community Community Share Sexual Assault

Meet ColorMeSafe!

Who is Color me SAFE?

Color me SAFE is a family crisis management consulting firm serving mostly Texas and occasionally out-of-state clients. Our mission is to assist families of all backgrounds by offering guidance, solutions, and education regarding child welfare issues. Our team has over 50 years of combined experience, including several decades working for Child Protective Services. Since Color me SAFE was founded, in 2012, our team has been empowering, educating, and protecting your most valuable asset – your child.

Color me SAFE specializes in cases where CPS is directly involved: divorce & custody issues, coparenting conflict, parent/child conflict, and other matters involving child-welfare. We work directly with families, including refugees and immigrant families, therapists, schools, family law attorneys, and nonprofit organizations that serve survivors of domestic violence, and the community in general.

Often, families feel powerless and helpless in dealing with government institutions such as CPS – they need an advocate by their side to ensure their rights are protected and institutions are held accountable.

When families are referred to us, they are often traumatized, helpless, scared, lost, with the fear their children may be taken away, not knowing what to do or who to turn to. Unfortunately, through our experiences at CPS and beyond, it is precisely the families who are more vulnerable that are treated the worst, often being discriminated, revictimized, their civil rights abused by the institutions who were supposed to protect them. It’s those disparities, inequities, and inequalities that led us to create Color me SAFE and do what we do.

We’ve helped families with some of the most heart-breaking cases such as a family that had their three-month-old baby removed after going to the ER for an isolated incident that was completely misunderstood and overreacted. The parents were recent immigrants, their English wasn’t polished, and, in that stressful situation, they were not able to explain satisfactory what had happened. Unfortunately, they went on for months and spent thousands of dollars in attorney fees before their family was able to reunite.

In another case, we were able to guide a survivor of domestic violence, whose daughter was also being sexually abused by her own father. He was well connected and was using the law to his advantage. In this case, CPS initially misunderstood the dynamics of what was happening, and we were able to help make her case heard and, at the end, justice prevailed.

Over the years, we have come across numerous such families that needed our assistance and guidance but could not afford our services. We have taken more than forty pro-bono cases since we began this work and invested almost 1000 hours to support these families. Unfortunately, we were unable to support and guide several other families who needed us due to limited resources.

This is the ultimate reason we launched the Color me SAFE Foundation as a 501c3 at the end of 2022. We do not want any family to face a child or family related crisis without support, independently of their economic means. Besides working directly with families who do not have the resources, Color me SAFE Foundation will also be launching other education initiatives to empower our communities.

To us, it’s not about a paycheck or closing a case file, it’s when a family comes back months later saying, “thank you for keeping my family together.”

Our Team on the Ground:

Gauthami Vemula-Queijo, MS, MSE (Founder & Chief Empathy Officer)
Britany Myers, LCSW (Director of Education)
Karen Ricks, LCSW (Consultant & Director Home Assessments)
Saranya Kari, BS (Senior Intern)

To learn more about Color me SAFE, please visit the website and you can also follow ColorMeSafe on the following social media platforms.

Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn

Categories
Crime Victims Op-eds

A Quick Overview of Protective Orders

As a court advocate in the 280th Protective Order Court, my job is to provide support, information, and resources to applicants (those seeking the protective order). At times, the applicants are represented by the District Attorney’s office, hired attorneys, or through an agency (such as AVDA, Lone Star Legal Aid, or other non-profits), or they represent themselves (Pro Se). Pro Se applicants often express their nerves and worries about representing themselves and not knowing how to fully do so. They express a lack of knowledge of the law or what happens in court in general.

Hearing this prompted me (along with the MSW interns working with me) to create a guide for Pro Se applicants, and a list of answers to frequently asked questions. These guides were created to give Pro Se applicants information about court proceedings, and what’s expected of them during the process. With approval from the courts, these guides are available to people when they come in to apply for a protective order. I genuinely believe that knowledge is power, especially when that knowledge is applied. My hope is that these guides will help those representing themselves to feel more prepared for their hearing.

I am not an attorney, and these guides are not legal advice for self-representation, rather information that is helpful to know when representing oneself.

Lastly, we have created a survey (link below) to get a better sense of what advocates know about Protective Orders and what they’d like to learn. This will help guide our Legal Services Committee to plan future trainings.

 

Link To Survey
280th FAQs
Pro Se App Guide to PO Court 280th

About the Author

Protective Order Court Advocate

Deborah Alexis, LCSW

Categories
Mental Health Awareness Month Op-eds

Minority Mental Health Awareness

During the month of July, let us join the nation in celebrating National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month. This observance is a powerful reminder of the importance of recognizing and addressing the unique mental health challenges faced by minority communities. In our diverse society, it is crucial that we shed light on the experiences and struggles of individuals from minority backgrounds when it comes to mental health so that we foster a deeper understanding and cultivate an environment of empathy, support, and inclusivity. Raising awareness about minority mental health helps break down the stigma surrounding mental health issues, and by embracing the stories and experiences of individuals from minority communities, we challenge outdated stereotypes and help to open a space for honest conversations. We know that mental health issues can affect anyone, regardless of their background. However, individuals from minority communities often face additional barriers when seeking help, such as cultural stigma, language barriers, or limited access to culturally competent mental health services. So let us celebrate the resilience and strength of individuals from minority communities who have triumphed over their mental health challenges. During this month, we encourage you to educate yourself about the unique mental health concerns faced by different minority groups.

Thank you for joining us in this important journey of raising awareness for minority mental health!

About the Author

BATP Manager of Advocacy and Counseling Services

Morgan Holman

Categories
Mental Health Awareness Month Op-eds

Community Coach/Mentor-KScott

To say I am happy to be a part of this community is an understatement; I am ECSTATIC!

Why? I love to make an IMPACT.


Prior to this field, I was in another field where I was fortunate to earn two degrees as a student-athlete from the University of Utah and received numerous accolades for my leadership, community service, athletics, and academic performance. I was even awarded the Most Inspirational Male Student-Athlete and got opportunities to play professionally in the NFL and CFL.

After leaving that field, I desired to maintain my ability to make a positive impact. That’s why I entered the non-profit sector and gained experience in various areas, including Domestic Violence Shelters, Fatherhood programs, suicide/gang prevention groups, etc.

Now, it’s time to further the advocacy.

With our new program, we aim to decrease the “harm doers” likelihood to exercise verbal/emotional, sexual, physical, financial, and spiritual abuse toward their partner as an option based on their emotional state, history of dysfunction, belief system, and peer association.

My role is to identify healthier coping mechanisms in their intimate relationships that lead to equality between them and their partners through individual coaching for individuals who use violence in their relationships.

As I said, I am ECSTATIC to be a part of this community.

Why? Because I love to make an IMPACT, and I am sure you do too!

 

Will you help to end the violence?

About the Author

DVHRT Coach, HCDVCC

Kenneth Scott

Categories
DVAM neurofeedback Op-eds TBI

Why Neurofeedback

The Harris County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council consistently seeks to identify the gaps that create barriers for survivors to have access to safety and services, hold those who do harm accountable and prevent homicides related to domestic violence.

HCDVCC is on the cusp of establishing innovative programming, specific to neurofeedback therapy, to respond to IPV survivors unique needs and concerns and will be introducing a new Neurofeedback pilot program to address the affects of domestic violence on the survivor related to overall emotional wellness.

Why Neurofeedback?
According to the research by Dr. Huda “Shay” Shaikh, the volatile nature of intimate partner violence (IPV) can make survivors vulnerable to experiencing PTSD symptoms. The prevalence of PTSD symptoms among survivors of IPV is becoming a vast area of interest in the mental health field. Regarding the dynamics of IPV, researchers have asserted that IPV survivors are at a higher risk for PTSD and other mental health concerns such as depression. Given each IPV survivors needs, and concerns tend to be unique, alternative modalities in conjunction with trauma-focused therapeutic modalities are being utilized to respond to symptom reduction and care.

Neurofeedback is defined as a noninvasive, neurocognitive intervention that targets brain wave activity and focuses on training the brain to work towards self-regulation (Nooner et al., 2017). Alternative therapeutic modalities, such as NFB, are presently being introduced to special populations such as veterans across the United States by organizations such as Team Semper Fi and The Lone Survivor Foundation in response to traumatic brain injury (TBI) and PTSD symptoms. NFB therapy aims to train the brainwave patterns for the brain to work towards self-regulation (Nooner et al., 2017). Quantitative electroencephalogram (qEEG) guided NFB, otherwise known as brain mapping guided NFB, is the advised path for NFB therapy given its ability to offer a more personalized treatment plan (Wigton & Krigbaum, 2019).

Brain mapping is a process that captures the unique brainwave pattern of an individual undergoing the qEEG. Given that no two individuals will have the same brainwaves, a qEEG provides an exclusive look at an individual’s brain, as unique as their fingerprint. Based on the qEEG recording of the individual’s brainwaves, the clinician develops a treatment plan for that individual. Once the treatment plan is developed, the individual initiates NFB sessions based on the protocols detailed in their individualized treatment plan. Therefore, qEEG-guided NFB allows clinician to create a treatment plan specialized for that individual and their specific brain wave Patterns (Brown et al., 2019). While NFB has been utilized as an intervention for various disorders for four decades, its solidification as an evidence-based therapy for PTSD has yet to be established. However, research has been conducted supporting its helpfulness in mitigating PTSD symptoms. Utilizing NFB therapy to relieve PTSD symptoms is a growing scholarly field.

Dr. Huda “Shay” Shaikh is a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor, National Certified Counselor, Board Certified Neurofeedback Clinician, and Board Approved Neurofeedback Mentor. She graduated with a B.S. in Psychology from The University of Houston and earned a Master of Arts in Counseling from the University of Texas at San Antonio. Shay completed her doctoral program in Counselor Education and Supervision in September 2022. Her dissertation was focused on comparing the modalities, EMDR and NFB, in response to intimate partner violence survivor PTSD treatment. Given her passion for trauma work, in addition to being a Neurofeedback clinician, Shay is trained in EMDR therapy, is a CPT provider, trained in providing TF-CBT and well versed in play therapy strategies.

Having a passion for trauma and program management, Shay has worked with a diverse set of populations providing trauma therapy and neurofeedback therapy. Throughout her career, she has been instrumental in building trauma focused programs at different agencies. With a passion for working with combat veterans, Shay has also been a contracted Neurofeedback clinician with the Lone Survivor Foundation to serve those that served our nation. Formerly, with Region 4 Education Service Center, Shay led a trauma team in the Santa Fe District to implement systems and provide trauma-wellness counseling services to students and staff in the district in response to the May 18th mass violence tragedy at Santa Fe High School. Upon the completion of the trauma-focused project with Region 4, Shay worked with the Fort Bend County Women’s Center as their Neurofeedback Supervisor and Counselor to provide mental health services to survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Presently, she works with the Harris County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council (HCDVCC) as their Neurofeedback Program Manager/Clinician. Her main responsibility is to establish the neurofeedback therapy program in response to IPV survivor care.

About the Author

Neurofeedback Program Manager

Dr. Huda “Shay” Shaikh

Categories
Mental Health Awareness Month Op-eds

Mental Health Awareness Month and IPV

For Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s discuss the connection between people experiencing intimate partner violence and mental illness. Did you know that people who are victim survivors of intimate partner violence (IPV) have higher rates of experiencing mental health issues, like PTSD, anxiety, and depression? Some research suggests 3 times more likely. And did you know that people with chronic mental health conditions are at higher risk for experiencing intimate partner violence? Some research has reported that 30-60% of women with mental health diagnoses will experience IPV.

On a personal note, I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, have helped many others through mental health crises, processing trauma, and am as much of an expert as one can be on most things interpersonal violence. I am also a victim survivor of dating violence myself and struggle daily with symptoms of anxiety and depression. It‘s been over 25 years since experiencing abuse, and then I went through therapy, focused on healing, and made a career of helping others, and it still impacts me. I hope this illustrates the power that abuse has over our mental health. Of course, other stressors have popped up over the years, even some traumatic experiences, but this violence I experienced early in life started my brain on the path of trying to constantly remain in survival mode to protect me, and it has never been the same.

We don’t have to be experts on the brain to understand how the brain responds to and is impacted by trauma. The bottom line is that when we experience things that make us feel like our lives are in danger, chemicals flood our brains in response to the threat. The harm does not have to literally be a life or death situation, as long as we are feeling overwhelmed, out of control, and scared. The more we experience this harm, the more challenging it is to get our brains back to functioning like before when we felt safe. This can make life very difficult. These changes can create triggers, impact our memory and executive functioning, tell us not to trust others, make us question everything, and put us in a near constant state of reactivity. Our brains want us to be prepared for trauma if it happens again. This can lead to chronic symptoms of mental illness.

Now that we understand how experiencing abuse can increase our chances of facing mental health challenges, let’s also explore why those already suffering with mental illness are at a higher risk. Unfortunately, many people who suffer with mental illness can struggle with functioning at work, in relationships, carrying out daily household tasks, etc. They can try to cope with symptoms through isolating themselves, disconnecting from their support system, changing jobs and housing often, and can have lower self esteem than those who do not experience these symptoms. A lack of self-worth and a lack of stability and resources can place us in a position of great vulnerability. Vulnerability in a person can be an abuser’s most formidable tool to obtain power and control over them.

I have been provided with empathy and support over the years and have learned how to carry my trauma in a way that empowers me now. Luckily, most days, my brain follows my lead. The greatest gift that you can give a victim survivor who is struggling with their mental health is to educate yourself about these topics and provide them with radical empathy. This is true of those who are dealing with mental health diagnoses as well. Too often in our society, both these groups are victim-blamed, not believed, ignored, and told that they need to “get over it”. Changing this narrative within the communities and groups that we engage with is a powerful first step to making lasting change.

About the Author

Cathryn Councill Headshot

Cathryn Councill is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and is the Director of The SAFE Office at Rice University.

Categories
Community Share Mental Health Awareness Month Op-eds

Understanding and Promoting Black Mental Health

Understanding and Promoting Black Mental Health blog header
Understanding and Promoting Black Mental Health blog header

Racism has been embedded within American culture for centuries and in turn the U.S. healthcare system. This has led to mental health inequities in the African American community over time. Despite the current popularization of addressing individual mental well-being, the African American population continues to suffer. Mental health remains less researched, resourced, and advocated for equitably within the African American community.

The healthcare system in the United States of America has often engaged with members of the African American community as experimental subjects rather than as patients deserving of respect and quality care. US history is littered with examples of this racist-driven treatment. From the utilization of involuntary institutionalization as a form of punishment to the Tuskegee experiment in 1932, the healthcare system has been another avenue through which African Americans have been oppressed. During slavery, mental health as an aspect of the African American population’s health was often denied or misused to justify further subjugation (“The Historical Roots of Racial Disparities in the Mental Health System.” Counseling Today, 2020.) Following the abolition of slavery, the provision of equitable health services (including mental health) for African Americans was not deemed a priority. This led to less research, advocacy, overall investment, and corresponding healthcare policies being enacted. All these factors could have helped address pre-existing and emerging mental health inequities. Today, we can observe the results of that neglect when peering at the lack of quality healthcare providers/facilities situated in communities with many African American residents, insufficient cultural competency training for future health care providers, etc.

Inaction and apathy rooted in racism have permitted this inattention to the mental health of African Americans to be observable on all socio-ecological levels. Although rates of mental illnesses in African Americans are similar to those of the general population, disparities exist regarding mental health care services (Primm A, 2010). According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Mental Health Facts for African Americans guide, “African Americans are less likely to receive guideline-consistent care, less frequently included in the research, and more likely to use emergency rooms or primary care (rather than mental health specialists)”. “Which has led to only one-in-three African Americans who need mental health care receives it” (Dalencour M, 2017). Many studies have highlighted how factors like health care provider bias, inequality in healthcare services have driven this health inequity.

Currently, we are experiencing a massive shift in our collective regard for mental well-being. The pandemic and social unrest have thrust our nation into a discourse about our nation’s values. This has included mental health. Many have had to recognize the past and resulting compound, vicarious, historical and, racial trauma experienced by many, particularly the African American populace. Healthcare is a social determinant of health and addressing the widespread health-related inequities plaguing the African American community is imperative. This is inclusive of mental health. To properly address the preexisting and growing psychological needs of African Americans, we must explore current research into innovative and culturally competent therapeutic frameworks and interventions.

One way to support black mental health is promoting access to culturally competent mental health services. This means providing care that is sensitive to the cultural and racial experiences of black individuals and ensuring that black individuals have access to therapists and other mental health professionals who understand and can address their specific needs.

Resources:
• Therapy for Black Girls
• Therapy for Black Men
• Black Men’s Health
• Find a Black Provider

Another way to support black mental health is by fostering safe spaces where individuals can openly discuss their experiences and emotions. This can be achieved through community-based initiatives, support groups, and online forums.

Resources:
• National Alliance of Mental Health
• Black Mental Health Alliance
• Black Millennial Mental Health

It is also important to invest in education and awareness programs that promote mental health literacy and encourage early intervention and treatment. This can include workshops, seminars, and community events that educate individuals on the signs and symptoms of mental illness, and how to access resources and support.

Resources:
• Black Mental Health, 988
• Mental Health First Aid
• Mental Health in the Black Community
• MHA of Greater Houston
• Take a free, confidential mental health screening

By working together, to amplify these spaces and resources we can break down the barriers to mental health care and create a brighter future for black individuals and families.

About the Authors

Sharifa Charles
Nicole Milton

Sharifa Charles, Professional Development Specialist

Nicole Milton, Training Manager

Mental Health America of Greater Houston

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